impatience

I realized I was starting to view impatience as a defect in meditation.  During meditation when I would start to experience impatience, I would think the meditation was of low quality and I would get a little discouraged.  I might even have a thought like, “Look how impatient I am — I guess I should just stop meditating.”  But the opposite is true.  In meditation we are seeking out impatience.  We should hope for impatience.  Once impatience happens, there is something to work with.  That’s when the meditation gets a bit more real.

So now when I meditate I will hope for some experience of impatience or boredom.  Some experience that seems to want to nudge me away from meditation.  When the nudge happens, the way to deal with it is not exactly like resistance, I don’t think.  It’s more like not respecting it.  “This boredom or impatience wants to nudge me away from meditation.  So I’ll just relax a bit more.  I’ll just stay here anyway.”  It’s a matter of letting the impatience go (or stay), rather than fighting it off.